Occupy January: Last One in Gets the Rotten Shallots

Last night, I had to park on the other side of the gym, and my usually bare Spinning class was full save for one empty bike. As if that weren’t bad enough, when I went to the grocery store to shop for my usual vegetable bounty, there were no shredded carrots to be found, and I ended up getting the veggies at the bottom of the barrel including some questionable looking shallots. That’s when it hit me- the Resolutionists are out in full force this year, and they’re coming for blood.

Resolutionists are what I call people who jump on the diet and exercise bandwagon on January 1st hoping to hit the ground running to achieve their absurdly ridiculous and unrealistic goals by December 31st only to fail by February 1st, leaving the regular gym-goers like me frustrated and inconvenienced for one month.

Every year, Resolutionists join gyms in droves on January 1st (perhaps because they don’t know that it’s typically cheaper to join in the summer time- when no one is using the gym because they’re showing off the bodies they perfected at the gym in the winter so to lure members, gyms slash prices). They occupy my favorite spot in yoga, or use my favorite elliptical, or take my favorite bag in kickboxing. They even took my favorite bike in Spinning class. Regular gym-goers know the rules. We know not to take a particular bike if we know a certain person always uses it.

And Resolutionists stick out like tourists in New York City (you know, the people looking up at the buildings and taking pictures of the beautiful crap that veteran New Yorkers take for granted). They show up all shiny and new with their squeaky clean Nikes and their non-faded black yoga pants, and their state-of-the-art Brita water bottle filled with their hopes and dreams of sticking to their goals this year.

While Resolutionists view this as a good-faith effort to get healthy, we regular gym-goers think of it as tourist season. And we just secretly loathe going to the gym in January. We fully support those that are determined to join the club (bad pun intended) and become a regular gym-goer like us. I guess it’s just another case of one bad apple spoiling the whole bunch- enough people quit by February that we just don’t take any Resolutionists seriously. Their resolutions are fleeting.

On the plus side, at least the Kardashian-Humphries marriage will have lasted longer than something.

The Pushers

What do Charles Barkley, Mariah Carey, and Janet Jackson have in common? They’re the new 2012 diet pushers for popular weight loss programs, and they’re all black (see the commercials below, courtesy of YouTube). Every year, diet and weight loss companies choose a celebrity to be the face of their programs with the hope that we ordinary people will come in droves “like a moth to a flame burning by the fire.” Last year’s big hit was Academy Award winner and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson for Weight Watchers. This was a great move for the company because it attracted many more African-Americans to the Weight Watchers program; and this is a good thing because many African-Americans are overweight and dying of preventable diseases that can be attributed to obesity.

This year, Weight Watchers is trying to reach black men by selecting Charles Barkley as their spokesman. This is also great because of the many healthy risks facing African-American men because of their weight issues. This “marketing strategy” of using black celebrities seems to be working, as more and more black people are trying out Weight Watchers because they think “if someone who looks like me can do it so can I.” And I guess the other companies took note of this “trend” of using black celebrities, as Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig each selected Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey (respectively) to be the spokeswomen for their weight loss programs.

I appreciate these companies reaching out to African-Americans to encourage them to lose weight. But I worry that it’s just a ploy to get them through the door, where they won’t see anyone that looks like them. When I was on Weight Watchers, I went to a few different centers for meetings, and not one of the meeting Leaders or even the ladies working at the front check-in stations were non-white. I can’t speak for Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, but I worry that these companies will lure African-Americans to their program, but that they will fail because they might not get the support they need. When a white woman sees a white meeting Leader who lost the weight and became a marathon runner or something, she feels inspired and hopeful that she can do it, too. When a black woman sees this Leader, she might not feel as inspired. There are cultural differences that matter when it comes to getting the support you need. There are some things that work for white women that don’t work for black women, and vice versa.

To be fair, in order to be a Weight Watchers meeting Leader, you must have successfully completed the program, aka reaching a goal weight within the healthy BMI range and becoming a lifetime member. Perhaps, no black people who became lifetime members wanted to be meeting Leaders? Or, to be even more cynical, maybe not enough (or none at all) black people are reaching their goals and becoming lifetime members?

In a perfect world where people weren’t opportunistic beings that only care about themselves and their bottom lines, I’d like to think that’s the real reason behind these companies’ choosing black spokespersons to promote their programs- to help more black people to get healthy, lose weight, and keep it off. But I fear that at the end of the day, not enough is being done to retain minority members, and even worse, I fear these companies don’t even care.

Get Real

This is something I’ve wanted to blog about for quite some time and it took this Huffington Post article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/natural-hair-becoming-mor_n_1165573.html) to finally push me over the edge. I’m sick of black women who are “going natural” thinking they’re better than black women that aren’t! Everywhere I turn, someone on Facebook is posting about their natural hair this or I’m going natural that. More power to them. I jumped on the bandwagon a few years ago just to see what all the hype was and decided it’s not for me, and copped me a perm faster than I could say lanthionization!

The article doesn’t say that “natural” women think they’re better than non-natural women, but I would love a little less attitude from the black women that choose to go natural. It does not make you “blacker” than me. It does not mean you are more in touch with your roots (no pun intended) than I am. It simply means you’re choosing to wear your hair differently than I am; and at the risk of starting a shit storm, it means you’re following the latest fad of the moment.

For centuries, black women have been made to feel like they are less attractive than their White, Asian, Indian, or Hispanic counterparts because their hair is nappy and doesn’t blow in the wind like that of other nationalities. Some black women have even made it their mission to procreate with non-black men for the purpose of ensuring that their children will have “good hair,” or non-black hair. As a result of this “inferiority complex,” black women have straightened their hair, and worn wigs and weaves for decades.

And even with this new hair, black women were still made to feel less beautiful because of their skin color, or some other physical trait, but that’s a whole other blog post for another day. Back in the day, black women who wore weaves wouldn’t dare let people know their hair wasn’t “real.” Black women whose real hair was long and straight got cool points, or were considered to be exotic, but some of them still dealt with having to prove that their real hair was real. And they were still less attractive than non-black women, but more so than black girls who wore weaves. Black women with weaves would go through great lengths to hide their real hair, trying their hardest to pass off their weaves as their own.

And now there’s this “movement” where black women are “going natural.” Why? Because it’s better for their hair? Wrong! Contrary to what many believe, black hair in its natural state is actually more fragile and prone to breakage than if it’s straightened because it’s harder to manage. Is it because they want to embrace who they are? Maybe. But, if that’s the case why now and not from jump? Because all the cool (black celebrities) kids are doing it? Whatever the reasons may be, I don’t think part of the movement should be to look down on those of us who choose to wear weaves or get perms. That just contributes to the notion that black women don’t like or support each other, but again, that’s another blog post for another day.

So what gives? Is it because more and more black women are realizing that their hair is beautiful? Something they never should have had to realize in the first place? Something they should have already known as sure as they know their name? Possibly.

I don’t hear any media buzz surrounding white women who get perms to make their hair curly, or dye their hair different colors depending on the moon or season. And I certainly don’t remember reading any newspaper articles discussing how white women wear weaves, too. Hell, women like Jessica Simpson make money off of it, creating a line of hair “extensions” for white women.

Of course, people are going to capitalize on this “growing trend-“ it’s only natural (again, no pun intended). We’ve got people blogging about how to take care of natural hair, we’ve got people making web videos on how to style natural hair, and we’ve got companies rolling out products made “specifically” for natural hair, all part of a marketing ploy to make money off of women in search of the Holy Grail of natural hair care. I remember reading a study in college that said that after testing many different brands of products, between lotions and shampoos the contents of the bottles were the same despite being placed in different bottles with different marketing; so a shampoo made for one type of hair could be the same as the one in the bottle marketed for another type of hair. Similar to how most generic products are nearly identical to their brand name counterparts, give or take a different scent.

And, I’m sorry, but I hate the phrase “natural hair” because at the end of the day it’s just hair! We all have the same hair; it’s just a different texture.

Why is this “movement: getting so much buzz? What next, will women who wear long acrylic nails be attacked by women like me who choose to wear their real nails short and manicured? Will there be a movement of women with breast implants removing the silicone and rockin’ what God gave them? This is just another example of women being scrutinized, and what’s sad is that it’s being done by other women!

Nowadays, black women like Tyra Banks or Sherri Shepherd don’t care if you know their hair’s a weave or a wig because they’re embracing who they are- women wearing an accessory that just so happens to be their hair. I wish more women would realize that. Whether your hair is black or blonde, straight or curly, long or short, or even if you’re bald- you should know that you are beautiful, period; and you certainly shouldn’t look down on those who choose to wear their hair differently. Everyone is beautiful in her own way. If you don’t realize that, no hairstyle is going to work for you. As India.Arie said- you are not your hair.

Summer Reading

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a book worm. I love to read! Sadly, since starting law school I barely have enough time to read all the assigned cases, never mind finding time for leisurely reading. Also, I’m very old fashioned. I prefer the vintage feel of a book rather than reading on a device like the iPad or a Kindle. I love the old smell and feel of a book. Don’t laugh, but when I was in elementary school sometimes I’d spend my recess in the library reading books. Remember the library from Beauty and the Beast? To have that would be a dream come true (yes, I’m aware that I am a dork).

Most kids look forward to summer vacation because it’s a break from school. I looked forward to summer vacation because I couldn’t wait to see what my summer reading list would be. And I didn’t wait until August to read my book and write the book report, I started right away. And I never borrowed the books from the library, I had my mom buy them so as to add to my collection.

It saddens me that some kids no longer have summer reading, or if they do it’s optional. When I was in elementary and high school it was mandatory. Nowadays, kids would rather play games on their phones or video games systems. They’re not reaching for a book. But sometimes it’s great to take a break from technology, so I’m challenging you to read at least one of these classic novels that you probably read when you were a kid (and will probably understand more now that you’re older), or if you didn’t, you get to enjoy a good book while lounging on a hammock or at the beach. And your kids can join in on the fun, too. Check these out:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Haper Lee

This is my all time favorite book! This classic novel tells the tale of a young girl named Scout who is growing up in a rural town in Alabama during the Great Depression. The novel deals with issues such as racial and social injustice, stereotypes, and teaches many great lessons about life in general. This novel also deals with a trial in which Scout’s lawyer father, Atticus Finch, defends a black man accused of raping a white woman. I’d definitely recommend this book to those of you starting law school, perhaps to remind you of why you want to be a lawyer, as well as to non-lawyers to remind you that not all lawyers are evil.

2. Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat

This novel tells the story of a young Haitian girl named Sophie Caco who lived with her grandparents in Haiti and at the age of twelve is sent to the United States to live with her mother, a woman she barely knows. The novel deals with issues such as finding yourself in a new country, and rebuilding relationships after they have fallen apart.

3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Most people had to read Shakespeare in high school, and it probably felt like pulling teeth. However, for dorks like me, it was heaven! While most people got the abridged version (as this is believed to be Shakespeare’s longest play) or watched the movie, I read the whole thing and loved it! Hamlet tells the tale of a young man who is mourning the death of his father and as a result he engages in crazy, erratic behavior. It ends like most Shakespeare tragedies end, but this play is definitely powerful. While I believe that reading the book is always better than watching the movie, if you must watch the movie, I recommend watching Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet. You can follow the play line by line in his rendition, whereas most other film versions are condensed.

4. Animal Farm by George Orwell

When I first read this in 9th grade I thought this was simple a book about animals that didn’t get along. But then I realized the deeper concepts within this story about corruption, greed, social injustice, and leaders abusing their powers.

5. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

While my favorite Charles Dickens work is a Christmas Carol, a Tale of Two Cities is another good read. This lengthy read is set in London and Paris around the time of the French Revolution and it deals with familiar issues of class, wealth, poverty, social injustice, and love. I particularly liked that this novel was originally published in weekly installments in the newspaper. And, the book’s opening line “it was the best of times , it was the worst of times” is definitely something we can relate to today.

For the Kiddies and Young Adults

6. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

I just told my boyfriend that if I were to watch this movie again I’d probably still cry (yet another dork moment). This story is about a girl Fern who convinces her father not to kill a baby pig because he’s a runt. She keeps him as a pet and names him Wilbur. The story goes on to follow their growing friendship and his life on the farm with other animals, such as a rat, a goose, and of course a spider, named Charlotte. This classic teaches kids about humility, kindness, and love (some values that seem to be lacking in today’s youth).

7. Any of the Baby-Sitter’s Club Books by Ann M. Martin

I heard a rumor that these were on the banned book list and I was shocked! I loved this series when I was a kid. I even read the Little Sister series. I owned almost every title, which I eventually donated to my elementary school’s library once I’d outgrown them. This series tells the stories of different teenage girls who baby sit neighborhood kids, and the adventures they experience.

8. Goosebumps by R.L. Stine

I’m not gonna lie, some of these books scared me when I was growing up. But for the most part they weren’t that bad. As far as I remember, there weren’t any gruesome deaths or anything gory. They were simply stories to send a chill up your spine, or to give you goosebumps. Some stories involved haunted houses, or scar scarecrows. If I could handle reading them, any kid can.

9. Night by Elie Wiesel

I read many stories about the Holocaust, but this one was the most memorable. It tells the story about Wiesel’s experiences in Nazi German concentration camps in a way that makes you have a greater love and appreciation for the life you live today.

10. Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary

I also heard a rumor that Beverly Cleary books were on the banned book list, but in my opinion they shouldn’t be. Cleary wrote a few books about Ramona, a typical curious third grader, but this one focused on Ramona’s starting the third grade and trying to become a little bit more independent, and other situations in which little kids find themselves. It’s definitely a cute read

Bonus read: The Berenstain Bears by Stan and Jan Berenstain

These books for kids teach lessons about life, such as the dangers in talking to strangers, eating too much junk food, and even watching too much television. I’ve seen these books popping up more and more at Walmart, so I plan to buy some for my Goddaughter.

I hope you take the opportunity to enjoy at least one of these great classics. You will not be disappointed And if there’s a classic you read as a kid, please feel free to share

The Good Wife

Every woman wants to believe that her man is one of the good guys- the ones who are loving, honest, and faithful. And men will be the first to say “I’m not like all the other guys.” But is this just delusional thinking?

If soap operas, television shows like the Good Wife, and even Arnold Swarzenegger’s scandal are any indication, cheating should be as accepted as diet coke!

It seems like men just can’t help themselves. Women try so hard to satisfy their men. We cook, we clean, we sleep with you, we support you in as many ways as we can. And that’s still not good enough.

I know that not every man cheats on his woman, but one bad apple is enough to spoil the whole bunch. Every single person I’ve ever dated has cheated on me, both physically and emotionally, so I sometimes find it hard to be optimistic that I’ll never be cheated on again. But given the seemingly true nature of men, is that kind of “optimistic” thinking really just stupid?

And it’s bad enough that most men cheat on their women to begin with, but they cheat with women who are “less than” their girlfriend or wife in terms of social status. On The Good Wife, Peter cheated on his wife (an attorney) with a prostitute. Arnold Swarzenegger cheated on his wife with their nanny. Why don’t men cheat with more powerful/prominent women? Is it because their odds of getting caught would be increased? Or is it because an ordinary working girl is less intimidating than the powerful, intelligent women they’re with?

And why do we always hear about these prominent men cheating on their wives? Rarely do we hear stories about womem cheating on their husbands. Is it because women’s moral compass always points north, or could it be something else?

And what makes the women stay? Is it because they’re afraid no one else will want them? Is it because they’ve just come to accept that men will be men and cheat so they might as well stay where they are?

To be fair, not all men wake up in the morning and say “gee, I think I’ll cheat on my girlfriend/wife today.” Some men are seduced by women. Sometimes the woman knows this man is taken and they continue to seduce the guy anyway (I believe some people call these women whores). And sometimes the woman genuinely doesn’t know the man is taken- after all, men can lie and wedding rings can come off. While this is one reason why I do not like or trust women (which is a blog topic for another day), at the end of the day it’s still up to the man to say no to temptation. And I know that blaming the women for their succumbing to temptation is a hard habit for men to break, as they’ve been doing it since the beginning of time (do Adam and Eve ring a bell?), but it’s about time men own up to their indiscretions and take responsibility for their actions and finally admit what women have been forced to accept as their new reality: “you are like all the other guys.”

Here We Go Again (Happy New Year For Real)!

Tomorrow is not just the first day of the new year (and Haitian Independence Day for my fellow Haitian-Americans who celebrate with the traditional bowl of soup), it’s the first day of a brand spanking new decade. When the last decade began I was a junior in high school, now I’ve just completed my first semester of law school!

I’ve been reflecting on the things I’ve accomplished the last ten years of my life, and thinking of how to top that for the next ten years.

In the next decade I want to live my life to the fullest. I wish I’d taken more risks, in terms of careers. I wish I’d put myself out there more. I wish I didn’t waste so much time dwelling on the things I can’t change, or the things I don’t have. So in the next ten years I want to be more fearless and more appreciative for the things I have than bitter over the things I don’t. I’d also like to be married with children and a fascinating career as an attorney.

I don’t know what the next decade, or even what the next day holds. But I do know that what awaits me depends on how I live my life, the chances I take, the people I meet, and whatever blessings God wishes to bestow upon me.

I won’t be making any new year’s resolutions this year. I don’t like the pressure. But I will make an effort to seize every opportunity I get to be a happier, better version of me.
And I recommend the rest of you do the same; lest you find yourself a year from now making new new year’s resolutions saying “here we go again.”

Penguin Block Party

In part two of my vintage summer adventures, my boyfriend and I took a trip to the New England Aquarium. I hadn’t gone there since I was in elementary school so it brought back some vintage memories.

We got to roam around looking at exotic sea creatures, such as the sting ray, electric eels, and giant sea turtles. The colorful schools of fish were great to look at, as were the fuzzy star fish, seals, and this penguin block party.

We also got to roam around Fanuel Hall, and got to try multiple free samples of grilled pineapples, burgers, and quenched our thirsts with free samples of ocean spray and nantucket nectars. Who knew Boston was full of freebies on a hot saturday afternoon. These, my friends, are the simple things that vintage summers are made of!

The County Fair

Ever since I saw Grease when I was younger, I’ve always wanted to go to a county fair with my boyfriend, and ride the Ferris Wheel with him in the hopes of catching a kiss in the air while watching the sunset. So on my mission to pursue vintage inspired activities, my boyfriend and I ended up at the annual Brockton Fair in MA. It’s your typical county fair full of thrill-seeking rides, vendors selling fake Jimmy Choos, and of course the iconic Ferris Wheel. For $25 my boyfriend and I enjoyed a few rides, including a haunted house, he won me a cute blue Monkey, and we ended the night going at it on the bumper cars. Of course no trip to the county fair would be complete without some buttery fattening fried dough goodness burried under copious amounts of powdered sugar enough to make you a diabetic. A ride on the Ferris Wheel while watching the sunset would have been an uber romantic way to end the night with my love, but leaving the fair with him is just as good, too. Til next time!

The Resolutionists

They come in droves, preying on machines like vultures preying on mice. They take up space; some are loud and some even make a mess and they’re every avid gym goers nightmare. They’re what I like to call “New Year’s Resolutionists-” those who flock to the gym because their New Year’s Resolution is to get fit and lose weight. I believe Ellen DeGeneress said it best on her show last month when she said “it’s the fourth day of the new year which means you probably broke your resolution three days ago.” The last few weeks of 2009 were dead at my gym, and not just because of all the holiday travel. If it weren’t for nightly maintenance you’d be able to see the dust accumulating on the equipment. Come January 1st everyone is suddenly filled with this newfound desire to get in shape and eat right only to fall off the proverbial wagon a month later.

I admit, I’ve been one of those New Year’s Resolutionists in the past, in the resolution sense. Every year I’d make the same resolution to lose the same million pounds only to quit by February, then start up again in March. If I fell off the wagon on Tuesday I’d start over on Sunday. A few years and more pounds gained later I’ve realized that’s not the way to go, and this year I didn’t make any resolutions, and now we’re into February and I’m still doing alright! The New Year’s Resolutionists however are not!

I went to the gym at my usual “rush hour” last night and I didn’t have to stalk a machine, they were pretty much empty! The resolutionists have retreated! Which makes me wonder- why do gyms go through all the trouble of having special deals and offers to lure newbies to join if they’re just going to quit in 30days? I’ve seen several television commercials where gyms prod viewers to come in and join for as low as $1. Assuming there’s no loophole in the fine print, say someone gets suckered into joining for $1 and their monthly rate is $20 a month- that’s $241 for the year. Sure your insurance will reimburse you some of it, but for those that don’t that’s still a pretty big amount to spend on a membership. Now, imagine you quit by February- you’re wasting $222. if you quit and end your contract, you’re paying as much as $100 (depending on the gym and the contract), which means you’ve just spent $120 for one month at the gym! You don’t have to be a business major to know that’s a huge waste of money.

Sure the gyms make out and they don’t care if you quit the day after you join, but shouldn’t they? Shouldn’t gyms care about their members? Given the rate of obesity in this country shouldn’t it be the social responsibility of all gyms to make working out as enjoyable as possible to keep their members from quitting? And shouldn’t gyms care about retention rates anyways? One of my coworkers belongs to a gym where they randomly have a table with pepperoni pizza to offer to the members after they’ve worked out. Maybe freebies are the way to go, not necessarily pizza, but something to keep members working out.

And shouldn’t we avid gym goers get something for working out everyday and being inconvenienced in January when the newbies come around? How about rewarding us by giving us the same discounts offered to those who are going to quit anyways? The money people waste on gym memberships yearly is staggering, might as well use it to reward those of us who are consistent.

Is the Economy the New Get Out of Jail Free Card?

T’is the season to be jolly, but the spirit of Scrooge seems to be looming in the air. As long as there is poverty in the world there will always be a need to help those less fortunate, and those that know me well know that it’s my passion and calling to help the poor; and given the economy there is an even greater need. However, I’m finding that people are also using the economy as a reason not to help those less fortunate and it makes me sick!

Rewind to the 1930s during the Great Depression. People didn’t just leave each other hanging, they came together to help each other out. Whether it was by lending a cup of sugar to a neighbor, or watching their neighbor’s children while their parents tried to look for work, they helped in any way they could. National programs were even created to ensure that everyone could get a meal. What happened to the days of literally giving someone in need the shirt off your back? What happened to sacrifice for the sake of others’ happiness?

Fast-forward to 2009 and everyone is choosing selfishness. So what if I’ve got a whole loaf and my neighbor only needs a slice of bread? So what if I’ve got $10 and my friend needs fifty-cents? The excuse of the day is “the economy.” I can’t give to church because of the economy. I can’t volunteer because of the economy. But you can still get your biweekly manipedi’s despite the economy, right? And you can still afford to buy your daily lottery ticket, $8 pack of cigarettes, and liquor right? Call me a b!tch, but I think that’s selfish.

In a way, it’s to be expected. Selfishness is what got us in this mess in the first place. People wanted to make more and more money no matter the cost, and now we’re suffering the consequences. Many innocent people are suffering the consequences, many of these people were poor before the economy took a turn for the worse, and as a result of a lack of aid they’ve been pushed further into dire poverty.

But the cycle needs to be broken. Isn’t the golden rule to treat others the way you would want to be treated? I recently held two collection drives- one collecting food for a pantry that is quickly running out of funds and food, and another collecting toys for a shelter. I barely got any donations. You would think I asked people for a kidney! It just angers me that people are so selfish. I didn’t ask for much, I literally just asked for a canned good from your pantry, or even a toy from a dollar store. Nothing.

I know someone who’s been unemployed for over a year who still tithes at church, gives to charity, would literally give the shirt off his back if it would help someone, and he’s living in the same economy that we are. So there is still hope that we can break this cycle of selfishness, if not for our the sake of humanity, then because of the economy.