Ghosts of Years Past

Remember that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie freaks out about seeing Aiden at the opening of Steve’s bar because she’s not sure how Aiden feels about her since they broke up because she cheated on Mr. Big; and in writing her article she asks “…are we haunted by relationships past?” I find myself asking the same question, sort of. So many people are able to adopt a forgive and forget attitude in life. They are so focused on the future, they don’t care what happened five minutes ago. When a new month comes along, they put the previous month behind them and they don’t look back. If we lived in biblical times, I’d be Lot’s wife- I’d look back and turn into a pillar of salt.

I envy those people that are able to turn the page and keep going forward. I envy those able to forgive and FORGET. I used to hold grudges, until I realized that until you learn to forgive, you’re killing your soul. I feel I’ve mastered the art of forgiveness, but it’s the forgetting that I can’t fully grasp.

Sarcastic pictures aside, 2011 is a year that I want to forget for too many reasons to list here. And in 2008, I was forced, for the first time, to deal with the death of a family member. Those were the toughest years of my life. And I want nothing more than to move on from those difficult times in my life. I went through a lot and I am stronger for it. But I feel like ghosts of those years are still haunting me because I haven’t forgotten what I went through. I used to love the fact that my memory is so great. It’s helped me ace tests without studying, and I vividly remember things from my childhood. I sometimes tease my boyfriend because he seems to forget a lot of things. However, he remembers the important stuff- like my birthday, our anniversary, or that I’m allergic to seafood. But he seems to forget the bad stuff that’s happened to him, so as not to remind himself of how he felt. I certainly don’t want to be reminded of what horrible years those were for me, especially since I have so many positive things to look forward to this year; and I’m not in a bad place like I was in 2008 and 2011. But, there are songs I still won’t listen to because they were playing when I found out my cousin was murdered, or they remind me of another bad memory. But can you ever completely forget? Can you ever look ahead and never look back? How do you give up the ghosts?

Summer Reading

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a book worm. I love to read! Sadly, since starting law school I barely have enough time to read all the assigned cases, never mind finding time for leisurely reading. Also, I’m very old fashioned. I prefer the vintage feel of a book rather than reading on a device like the iPad or a Kindle. I love the old smell and feel of a book. Don’t laugh, but when I was in elementary school sometimes I’d spend my recess in the library reading books. Remember the library from Beauty and the Beast? To have that would be a dream come true (yes, I’m aware that I am a dork).

Most kids look forward to summer vacation because it’s a break from school. I looked forward to summer vacation because I couldn’t wait to see what my summer reading list would be. And I didn’t wait until August to read my book and write the book report, I started right away. And I never borrowed the books from the library, I had my mom buy them so as to add to my collection.

It saddens me that some kids no longer have summer reading, or if they do it’s optional. When I was in elementary and high school it was mandatory. Nowadays, kids would rather play games on their phones or video games systems. They’re not reaching for a book. But sometimes it’s great to take a break from technology, so I’m challenging you to read at least one of these classic novels that you probably read when you were a kid (and will probably understand more now that you’re older), or if you didn’t, you get to enjoy a good book while lounging on a hammock or at the beach. And your kids can join in on the fun, too. Check these out:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Haper Lee

This is my all time favorite book! This classic novel tells the tale of a young girl named Scout who is growing up in a rural town in Alabama during the Great Depression. The novel deals with issues such as racial and social injustice, stereotypes, and teaches many great lessons about life in general. This novel also deals with a trial in which Scout’s lawyer father, Atticus Finch, defends a black man accused of raping a white woman. I’d definitely recommend this book to those of you starting law school, perhaps to remind you of why you want to be a lawyer, as well as to non-lawyers to remind you that not all lawyers are evil.

2. Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat

This novel tells the story of a young Haitian girl named Sophie Caco who lived with her grandparents in Haiti and at the age of twelve is sent to the United States to live with her mother, a woman she barely knows. The novel deals with issues such as finding yourself in a new country, and rebuilding relationships after they have fallen apart.

3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Most people had to read Shakespeare in high school, and it probably felt like pulling teeth. However, for dorks like me, it was heaven! While most people got the abridged version (as this is believed to be Shakespeare’s longest play) or watched the movie, I read the whole thing and loved it! Hamlet tells the tale of a young man who is mourning the death of his father and as a result he engages in crazy, erratic behavior. It ends like most Shakespeare tragedies end, but this play is definitely powerful. While I believe that reading the book is always better than watching the movie, if you must watch the movie, I recommend watching Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet. You can follow the play line by line in his rendition, whereas most other film versions are condensed.

4. Animal Farm by George Orwell

When I first read this in 9th grade I thought this was simple a book about animals that didn’t get along. But then I realized the deeper concepts within this story about corruption, greed, social injustice, and leaders abusing their powers.

5. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

While my favorite Charles Dickens work is a Christmas Carol, a Tale of Two Cities is another good read. This lengthy read is set in London and Paris around the time of the French Revolution and it deals with familiar issues of class, wealth, poverty, social injustice, and love. I particularly liked that this novel was originally published in weekly installments in the newspaper. And, the book’s opening line “it was the best of times , it was the worst of times” is definitely something we can relate to today.

For the Kiddies and Young Adults

6. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

I just told my boyfriend that if I were to watch this movie again I’d probably still cry (yet another dork moment). This story is about a girl Fern who convinces her father not to kill a baby pig because he’s a runt. She keeps him as a pet and names him Wilbur. The story goes on to follow their growing friendship and his life on the farm with other animals, such as a rat, a goose, and of course a spider, named Charlotte. This classic teaches kids about humility, kindness, and love (some values that seem to be lacking in today’s youth).

7. Any of the Baby-Sitter’s Club Books by Ann M. Martin

I heard a rumor that these were on the banned book list and I was shocked! I loved this series when I was a kid. I even read the Little Sister series. I owned almost every title, which I eventually donated to my elementary school’s library once I’d outgrown them. This series tells the stories of different teenage girls who baby sit neighborhood kids, and the adventures they experience.

8. Goosebumps by R.L. Stine

I’m not gonna lie, some of these books scared me when I was growing up. But for the most part they weren’t that bad. As far as I remember, there weren’t any gruesome deaths or anything gory. They were simply stories to send a chill up your spine, or to give you goosebumps. Some stories involved haunted houses, or scar scarecrows. If I could handle reading them, any kid can.

9. Night by Elie Wiesel

I read many stories about the Holocaust, but this one was the most memorable. It tells the story about Wiesel’s experiences in Nazi German concentration camps in a way that makes you have a greater love and appreciation for the life you live today.

10. Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary

I also heard a rumor that Beverly Cleary books were on the banned book list, but in my opinion they shouldn’t be. Cleary wrote a few books about Ramona, a typical curious third grader, but this one focused on Ramona’s starting the third grade and trying to become a little bit more independent, and other situations in which little kids find themselves. It’s definitely a cute read

Bonus read: The Berenstain Bears by Stan and Jan Berenstain

These books for kids teach lessons about life, such as the dangers in talking to strangers, eating too much junk food, and even watching too much television. I’ve seen these books popping up more and more at Walmart, so I plan to buy some for my Goddaughter.

I hope you take the opportunity to enjoy at least one of these great classics. You will not be disappointed And if there’s a classic you read as a kid, please feel free to share

I Need a Vacation!

2011 has been the WORST and busiest year of my twenty something life! I completed my first year of law school in May, however, my life has essentially been one big blur since March, so when I go away on vacation tomorrow it’s very much needed.

Us overachiever types dislike taking time off. We feel we’ll miss out on something, or even worse, we’ll fall behind on all the work we have to do. The past few weeks have been CRAZY for me- I had a take home midterm (which, in law school is NOT necessarily a good thing, as mine was about 80 HANDWRITTEN pages), a presentation for class, and a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I just submitted. Not to mention research for a 20 page paper due in about a month, as well as studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam (MPRE) that I have to take on August 5th. I’ve found that I’m busier taking 2 summer courses than I am taking 5!

I love to be busy, but it does tend to cause stress, which causes me to drink 1-2 cans of soda every other day. Not good. But now that I have NO immediate assignments to complete, I plan to enjoy myself for the next few days. This year, I’ve learned a lot about balance. It’s not good to procrastinate all the time, but it’s not good to be all work and no play either, and that’s how it’s been for me since March. Today is the last day of the first half of the year, and these past six months I’ve worked waaaay too hard with not much to show for it. During the next few months, I obviously still plan to work hard, but I plan to work smarter by being more balanced. I’m going to try really hard not to feel guilty if I take an hour a day to hit the gym, or if I veg out on the couch on a Friday to catch up on the one million shows that are saved on my DVR (especially since I won’t have any classes on Fridays in the Fall, a rare occurrence for law students apparently).

For the rest of the year, I’m going to focus on achieving a perfect balance, and I challenge you to do the same. A perfect balance for me might mean school work Sunday through Thursday and allowing Friday and Saturday for some fun stuff with my boyfriend. Or it might mean being able to watch Jeopardy every night. And it’ll be different for you, too. The point is that we all need to relax and take some time off once in a while. Your brain and your body will thank you for it.

The Good Wife

Every woman wants to believe that her man is one of the good guys- the ones who are loving, honest, and faithful. And men will be the first to say “I’m not like all the other guys.” But is this just delusional thinking?

If soap operas, television shows like the Good Wife, and even Arnold Swarzenegger’s scandal are any indication, cheating should be as accepted as diet coke!

It seems like men just can’t help themselves. Women try so hard to satisfy their men. We cook, we clean, we sleep with you, we support you in as many ways as we can. And that’s still not good enough.

I know that not every man cheats on his woman, but one bad apple is enough to spoil the whole bunch. Every single person I’ve ever dated has cheated on me, both physically and emotionally, so I sometimes find it hard to be optimistic that I’ll never be cheated on again. But given the seemingly true nature of men, is that kind of “optimistic” thinking really just stupid?

And it’s bad enough that most men cheat on their women to begin with, but they cheat with women who are “less than” their girlfriend or wife in terms of social status. On The Good Wife, Peter cheated on his wife (an attorney) with a prostitute. Arnold Swarzenegger cheated on his wife with their nanny. Why don’t men cheat with more powerful/prominent women? Is it because their odds of getting caught would be increased? Or is it because an ordinary working girl is less intimidating than the powerful, intelligent women they’re with?

And why do we always hear about these prominent men cheating on their wives? Rarely do we hear stories about womem cheating on their husbands. Is it because women’s moral compass always points north, or could it be something else?

And what makes the women stay? Is it because they’re afraid no one else will want them? Is it because they’ve just come to accept that men will be men and cheat so they might as well stay where they are?

To be fair, not all men wake up in the morning and say “gee, I think I’ll cheat on my girlfriend/wife today.” Some men are seduced by women. Sometimes the woman knows this man is taken and they continue to seduce the guy anyway (I believe some people call these women whores). And sometimes the woman genuinely doesn’t know the man is taken- after all, men can lie and wedding rings can come off. While this is one reason why I do not like or trust women (which is a blog topic for another day), at the end of the day it’s still up to the man to say no to temptation. And I know that blaming the women for their succumbing to temptation is a hard habit for men to break, as they’ve been doing it since the beginning of time (do Adam and Eve ring a bell?), but it’s about time men own up to their indiscretions and take responsibility for their actions and finally admit what women have been forced to accept as their new reality: “you are like all the other guys.”

Next Time Around

It seems like only yesterday I started my first day of law school. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I admit, after I saw Legally Blonde, a teeny tiny part of me hoped that law school would be somewhat similar to Elle Woods’s experience at Harvard. After all, we both liked pink, and we both liked manicures. But once I got my first reading assignment for Criminal Procedure I realized law school would be so much harder and less interesting than the murder trial in the movie.

I entered law school with all kinds of delusions, such as getting straight A’s like I always did, and maintaining the same work- life balance I had while working full time and attending graduate school. But all the upperclassmen and professors kept telling us how hard law school would be and to get used to not seeing our friends and family for three years. Being the overachieving straight A student I always was, I thought “nope, I’ll be able to balance everything and still have time to watch Jeopardy every night.”

But I let their advice get to me and I took it to the extreme. I cut everything out cold turkey. I went from working out everyday to forgetting where my gym was. I went from watching Jeopardy every night to barely having time to catch the weather report in the morning. Slowly but surely, I started to distance myself from everything because I started to believe that the only way I could succeed was if I took on their advice. And I ate it up like candy. I even changed my study habits to what they suggested because I figured they knew best.

Turns out they didn’t. Giving everything up cold turkey didn’t make me smarter or more efficient, and it certainly didn’t get me straight As. Instead, it left me fatter, more stressed, and single, as neglecting my boyfriend led to our breakup.

As I’m finishing up my first year of law school I can’t help but think about the girl I was last August, and the girl I am now. And I’m kind of disappointed in myself. I let other people’s stresses and issues affect me and as a result I doubted myself. I convinced myself that my way of doing things- which had yielded me straight A’s for so long- was not good enough for law school. I wasted so much time adopting new study habits, experimenting with outlines, studying supplements, only to come back to my reliable (albeit old-school) method of making flashcards to study.

I know the upperclassmen and professors meant well, but their advice did not work for me. And I suppose that’s part of life- trying to figure out what works for us. People are always going to have opinions and suggestions. But it’s up to you to figure out what’s right for you and what’s not.

My boyfriend and I did that in the few short months we spent apart. And I’ve had months to figure out what does and doesn’t help me when it comes to law school. Once I master the diet and exercise arena I’ll be good to go. But at least now I have an idea of what to do the next time around. And who knows, maybe the rest of my law school experience will be a little like Elle Woods’s. And if not, it’ll still be mine.

Here We Go Again (Happy New Year For Real)!

Tomorrow is not just the first day of the new year (and Haitian Independence Day for my fellow Haitian-Americans who celebrate with the traditional bowl of soup), it’s the first day of a brand spanking new decade. When the last decade began I was a junior in high school, now I’ve just completed my first semester of law school!

I’ve been reflecting on the things I’ve accomplished the last ten years of my life, and thinking of how to top that for the next ten years.

In the next decade I want to live my life to the fullest. I wish I’d taken more risks, in terms of careers. I wish I’d put myself out there more. I wish I didn’t waste so much time dwelling on the things I can’t change, or the things I don’t have. So in the next ten years I want to be more fearless and more appreciative for the things I have than bitter over the things I don’t. I’d also like to be married with children and a fascinating career as an attorney.

I don’t know what the next decade, or even what the next day holds. But I do know that what awaits me depends on how I live my life, the chances I take, the people I meet, and whatever blessings God wishes to bestow upon me.

I won’t be making any new year’s resolutions this year. I don’t like the pressure. But I will make an effort to seize every opportunity I get to be a happier, better version of me.
And I recommend the rest of you do the same; lest you find yourself a year from now making new new year’s resolutions saying “here we go again.”

Be Careful What You Ask For, Because You Just Might Get It

When I was a teenager, my life was so incredibly boring. Sure I was in high school, a time of your life that’s supposed to be fun and exciting, but I had virtually no life whatsoever. I had a part-time job, a brief stint as JV Cheerleading captain, and I kick-boxed, but that was about it. My circle of friends seemed to have all the exciting things going for them- the boyfriends and the party invites. I had none of this. I used to pray to God over and over again, “please let my life be full of drama.” And drama is what I got. The drama came and went as if I were a character on a soap opera. And of course, my prayers switched to “please take the drama away.” I quickly learned to be careful what you ask for.

Fast forward to this past year. I can’t tell you how many times I prayed for God to get me into law school. And I did. However, after seeing my financial aid package I started to think that maybe I didn’t ask for enough. And that made me think about my pattern of asking for things in other aspects of life.

If my faith allows me to believe that whatever I ask God for will be granted to me, then why did I not only ask to get into law school but also for a means to pay for it without going completely broke? The answer is something I’ve struggled with for what seems like my whole life. I don’t ask for enough. When I was younger, sometimes I’d ask God for the bare minimum so as not to take prayer requests away from others. And somehow this has translated into other areas of my life as well. I don’t ask for all of what I need because I feel like I’m asking for too much, but then I end up feeling somewhat unfulfilled because I don’t have enough of what I needed.

When applying for jobs that ask for your salary requirements, how many of you actually include the exact number you are looking for versus putting an amount you think won’t make you look greedy and money hungry, only to get the job and resent it because you aren’t making enough? How many of you actually ask for help when you need it, rather than biting off more than you can chew and then becoming bitter because no one has offered to help you?

How many of us really ask for exactly what we need instead of asking for less with the hope that the rest will be given to you? I sure don’t. Part of me feels like I don’t deserve to ask for as much as I want to. Then the other part of me feels like I do deserve to ask for as much as I want to, but then if I do what if it makes me seem less independent, needy, greedy, and a whole bunch of other words that I don’t want to describe me?

I suppose that’s a risk I’ll have to take because I can’t make it on less than enough.

Happy New Year!

I just finished the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in Boston (a 6 mile walk to raise money & support for breast cancer research, early detection, and survivor support programs), which this year I dedicated to my “aunty” Daisy who is a survivor. I’ve heard that cancer changes you, but if she didn’t tell you she had cancer you wouldn’t even know it. She’s the same bubbly, humorous, and loving person I’ve grown to love all these years. There’s nothing like beating cancer to make you feel like you’ve been given a new life, another chance.

And while I’ve not had to deal with cancer, birthdays give me the same feeling of starting anew (and it makes me wonder if this is why the American Cancer Society is now the sponsor of birthdays…). I recently celebrated mine and I usually treat mine as a new year in addition to a birthday. I reflect on how my life was the year before, and appreciate the blessings I have now.

Last year I created a list of things I wanted to do before my next birthday, and this year the list continues, with an added emphasis in giving more to others. Prior to beginning law school, I worked for a company that allowed me to do a lot of volunteer work, and I fear that due to my workload I won’t be able to volunteer as much as I used to. Donating your time to help others is a great way to celebrate life. It reinforces our purpose, and reminds us that we all need each other. I hope others treat their birthdays as new years in which they can make a difference in the lives of others as well as their own. Forget what happened before, and treat today as if you’ve been given a new life. And who knows, maybe you’ll help to sponsor some birthdays, too!

Breast Cancer Month

In case you didn’t know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Breast cancer awareness is something I’ve been very passionate about, as I many people who had or died from it. Breast cancer affects all of us, and it has a different effect on men and black women.

Although rare, men can get breast cancer. And because this is rare, men aren’t routinely screened for breast cancer, thus when they are diagnosed it may be too late.

Black women are another group of people who suffer from breast cancer because they don’t get checked in time, if at all; and because they tend to get the triple negative form of breast cancer (a type that does not respond well to hormonal therapy) their chances of survival are harder than white women, who tend to get other types of breast cancer.

A lot of work still remains to be done in breast cancer research, and triple negative breast cancer isn’t as thoroughly researched as other types- because black women are less willing to participate in research and clinical trials for breast cancer than white women.

While it is still debatable whether or not breast cancer is preventable, one of the ways in which you can decrease your chances of getting it is through exercise. I’ve read many different articles and medical journals that have said that regular exercise can cut your breast cancer risk (among other things) by 64%.

In light of this fact, I’ve committed to exercising everday in the month of October, and I’m hoping others will join, too. I’ve already done my workouts the past few days, and tomorrow I’ll be walking again in the American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk, joining others working to find a cure.

Long Live Racism?

This is the longest blog I’ve ever written, so brace yourselves! There’ve been a lot of talks of racism in the headlines lately and what continues to amaze me is how people react to it (or how people on Twitter react to my honesty). Take the new immigration bill in Arizona for example. You can’t help but to see the potential for racial profiling written all over it in big red letters. You automatically think police officers will only arrest people who look Mexican- because apparently only Mexicans can be here illegally; never mind other ethnicities that come here illegally, such as Cubans, Africans, and even some white Europeans. If you read the text of the law (http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/49leg/2r/bills/sb1070s.pdf ), it seems to be unfair and biased because phrases like “the gang and immigration intelligence team” or “a reasonable attempt shall be made when practical” imply a tone of racial injustice. But people need to see both sides of the story- why Arizona decided to create this controversial law and how it will impact everyone.

Long story short- someone who was “assumed” to be an illegal immigrant killed a man in Arizona and they wanted a way to deter illegal immigration in the state. Furthermore, they want a way to deter businesses from hiring illegal immigrants due to the economic impact. Not to say this law won’t be effective, but illegal immigrants aren’t the only people who kill. The guy who killed my younger cousin was an American citizen, Americans kill Americans all the time, so to have that reasoning as your first basis for this law is a bit stupid, but I digress. As for economic impact, companies have been outsourcing labor for decades, and they still do especially given the current economy. Why pay an American $10 an hour when I can get 10 people in India to do the same job for the same amount of money? More bang for my buck right? Sure, we’ve got tax incentives to encourage companies to hire more Americans, but some companies will still opt for the cheaper labor.

I do agree with Arizona’s taking this huge leap to try to implement immigration reform on a state level, but I don’t agree with the way in which it is doing it. I don’t agree with the wording of the law because how else are you to “reasonably suspect” someone is here illegally if not first by skin color? In this country, we automatically assume that if you look Mexican you must be an illegal immigrant, or if you look Middle Eastern you must be a terrorist. There’s never been an “if you look white you must be…” so race becomes an issue.

To be clear, I don’t support illegal immigration at all. I think it’s unfair that when it comes to immigration, the phrase “one bad apple spoils the whole bunch” is applied to the extreme. Illegal immigrants give all immigrants a bad name. My parents came here legally from Haiti in the 70s and the 80s and they’ve shared their stories of how long they had to wait to come here due to the paperwork and processing; and those who cut the line by coming here illegally are issuing a slap in the face to those who do abide by the rules, and they make it harder for ANY immigrant- whether you’re from Europe, Africa, Asia, or Mexico- to come here legally because of the stigma attached.

Many believe that the new law in Arizona is a human rights violation because it denies arrested people due process, among other things. I haven’t started law school yet, so I can’t quite comment on that, but what about the human rights violations that occur when illegal immigrants are mistreated, exploited, used, and abused because they are considered nothing but cheap labor? Isn’t this dehumanization a human rights violation, too? Part of this new law will help fight against this because it also aims to deter companies from hiring illegal immigrants or picking up illegal immigrants in a truck for labor. Many illegal immigrants come here and they are killed- by both Americans and other illegal immigrants, sometimes worked to death, sometimes simply because they are illegal- and when they are buried by the State sometimes their family members aren’t notified, and sometimes their names aren’t even written on their tombstones. This law will actually help illegal immigrants, too.

As controversial as this law appears to be, we must give Arizona the benefit of the doubt that the intent wasn’t based solely on race. Whether or not it was based on race, racism will continue to be an issue in this country as long as we let it; which brings me to my next racism in the news issue- the third year Harvard Law student who sent out an email stating she believes blacks are on average predisposed to be academically inferior to whites. Perhaps she forgot about the current President of the United States of America who, like her, also served on the Harvard Law Review, but again, I digress. Come on already! It’s 2010 why are we STILL talking about this stuff? Moreover, why are we STILL letting it get to us? And by us, I mainly mean black people, but I’ll get to that later. What angered me at first was how the media handled this “scandal.” The media made her out to be such a racist person by only including that one line in the news (didn’t some actress or somebody say “we’re all a little racist sometimes?”). But after reading her email in its entirety (I lost the link, sorry, but feel free to poke around abovethelaw.com, you’ll probably find it there) I realized she’s not racist. She was stating her opinion, which was based on some things she’s read throughout the years, and she said more in her email than that blacks are dumber than whites. She mentions socioeconomic challenges, which also contribute to her opinion, and I totally agree with her. I’ve experienced it.

Being a poor child of Haitian immigrants, I didn’t have the luxuries and economic opportunities that many of my white counterparts had. Sure, I went to Catholic school my whole life, and went on to graduate from college, grad school, and will be starting law school soon, but none of that came easy. Most of my white counterparts did well on their SATs because they could afford pricey SAT prep courses. I could not, and I performed horribly. But to be fair, I took a pricey LSAT prep course and STILL did horrible on my test because I’ve always been a bad test taker (but I still got into law school!). Fortunately for me (and I use fortunately in the least offensive way possible), I grew up in a racially indifferent environment where I was always the only black kid in class, and I was never made to feel different, therefore I worked just as hard, if not harder than the white kids did. And if anything, my mother instilled in me that I SHOULD work harder- not because I was black but because I was CAPABLE. Whenever I’d bring home an A- on a test, my mom would ask “why didn’t you bring home an A+?” My mother made me work hard as if to prove that you didn’t have to be able to afford pricey test prep courses and tutors to excel in school, you just had to put your mind to it and BELIEVE that you can accomplish anything you want.

That encouragement is something that’s lacking in many black families today, in conjunction with growing rates of poverty, growing rates of single parenthood (aka the socioeconomic challenges the Harvard 3L probably was eluding to), and worst of all this defeatist attitude that you are a product of your environment thus you are destined to fail, too so why bother. That’s a load of crap, and it’s an excuse to do nothing and it pisses me off! If my dad had it his way I’d probably hate white people. He always tried to tell me that white people hate black people and I shouldn’t trust them, nor be friends with them. Being the spiteful person I am I did the complete opposite. I liked white people, I trust them, and some of my closest friends are white people because I never saw the hate my dad saw. And besides, from the time that white people brought slaves to America there has been this hatred and mistrust, understandable, but #1) as mentioned before, “one bad apple shouldn’t spoil the whole bunch” and #2) it’s 2010, come on already!

I feel like many black people are waiting for a time when everything will be completely equal in the world, where we can TRULY believe that “we will be judged not by the color of our skin but by the content of our character” to apply themselves harder and go after their dreams and be the best them they can be. That time may never come, yet many blacks will still use this inferiority complex and these socioeconomic challenges as an excuse not to try. If hypothetically, since the 1600s or so whites have hated blacks and deemed them to be inferior, then CLEARLY a time when they won’t feel that way isn’t soon coming, so why not try ANYWAY? And most importantly, why buy into what OTHERS think of you? What’s important is what you think of YOURSELF! So what if someone says you’re black, you’re stupid. It’s not what you’re called, it’s what you answer to, so rather than pout and adopt a woe is me attitude, how about proving them WRONG!? I’m VERY spiteful and competitive, and I personally LOVE when people doubt my abilities because it only motivates me to make sure I prove them WRONG. Why aren’t our black kids growing up with attitudes of confidence and helping them to realize their own strengths and what talents they can contribute to the world regardless of what ANYBODY says about them?

Why, in 2010 is EVERYTHING so focused on race? Why can’t people be racially colorblind? I’m biased because I grew up around whites and blacks who got along and never made each other feel like one was better or inferior than or to the other, where race wasn’t an issue, where the whites were just as black as the blacks were white. If that can happen where I live, why can’t that type of unity and mutual understanding and respect happen in the world?