Occupy January: Last One in Gets the Rotten Shallots

Last night, I had to park on the other side of the gym, and my usually bare Spinning class was full save for one empty bike. As if that weren’t bad enough, when I went to the grocery store to shop for my usual vegetable bounty, there were no shredded carrots to be found, and I ended up getting the veggies at the bottom of the barrel including some questionable looking shallots. That’s when it hit me- the Resolutionists are out in full force this year, and they’re coming for blood.

Resolutionists are what I call people who jump on the diet and exercise bandwagon on January 1st hoping to hit the ground running to achieve their absurdly ridiculous and unrealistic goals by December 31st only to fail by February 1st, leaving the regular gym-goers like me frustrated and inconvenienced for one month.

Every year, Resolutionists join gyms in droves on January 1st (perhaps because they don’t know that it’s typically cheaper to join in the summer time- when no one is using the gym because they’re showing off the bodies they perfected at the gym in the winter so to lure members, gyms slash prices). They occupy my favorite spot in yoga, or use my favorite elliptical, or take my favorite bag in kickboxing. They even took my favorite bike in Spinning class. Regular gym-goers know the rules. We know not to take a particular bike if we know a certain person always uses it.

And Resolutionists stick out like tourists in New York City (you know, the people looking up at the buildings and taking pictures of the beautiful crap that veteran New Yorkers take for granted). They show up all shiny and new with their squeaky clean Nikes and their non-faded black yoga pants, and their state-of-the-art Brita water bottle filled with their hopes and dreams of sticking to their goals this year.

While Resolutionists view this as a good-faith effort to get healthy, we regular gym-goers think of it as tourist season. And we just secretly loathe going to the gym in January. We fully support those that are determined to join the club (bad pun intended) and become a regular gym-goer like us. I guess it’s just another case of one bad apple spoiling the whole bunch- enough people quit by February that we just don’t take any Resolutionists seriously. Their resolutions are fleeting.

On the plus side, at least the Kardashian-Humphries marriage will have lasted longer than something.

Ghosts of Years Past

Remember that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie freaks out about seeing Aiden at the opening of Steve’s bar because she’s not sure how Aiden feels about her since they broke up because she cheated on Mr. Big; and in writing her article she asks “…are we haunted by relationships past?” I find myself asking the same question, sort of. So many people are able to adopt a forgive and forget attitude in life. They are so focused on the future, they don’t care what happened five minutes ago. When a new month comes along, they put the previous month behind them and they don’t look back. If we lived in biblical times, I’d be Lot’s wife- I’d look back and turn into a pillar of salt.

I envy those people that are able to turn the page and keep going forward. I envy those able to forgive and FORGET. I used to hold grudges, until I realized that until you learn to forgive, you’re killing your soul. I feel I’ve mastered the art of forgiveness, but it’s the forgetting that I can’t fully grasp.

Sarcastic pictures aside, 2011 is a year that I want to forget for too many reasons to list here. And in 2008, I was forced, for the first time, to deal with the death of a family member. Those were the toughest years of my life. And I want nothing more than to move on from those difficult times in my life. I went through a lot and I am stronger for it. But I feel like ghosts of those years are still haunting me because I haven’t forgotten what I went through. I used to love the fact that my memory is so great. It’s helped me ace tests without studying, and I vividly remember things from my childhood. I sometimes tease my boyfriend because he seems to forget a lot of things. However, he remembers the important stuff- like my birthday, our anniversary, or that I’m allergic to seafood. But he seems to forget the bad stuff that’s happened to him, so as not to remind himself of how he felt. I certainly don’t want to be reminded of what horrible years those were for me, especially since I have so many positive things to look forward to this year; and I’m not in a bad place like I was in 2008 and 2011. But, there are songs I still won’t listen to because they were playing when I found out my cousin was murdered, or they remind me of another bad memory. But can you ever completely forget? Can you ever look ahead and never look back? How do you give up the ghosts?

The Pushers

What do Charles Barkley, Mariah Carey, and Janet Jackson have in common? They’re the new 2012 diet pushers for popular weight loss programs, and they’re all black (see the commercials below, courtesy of YouTube). Every year, diet and weight loss companies choose a celebrity to be the face of their programs with the hope that we ordinary people will come in droves “like a moth to a flame burning by the fire.” Last year’s big hit was Academy Award winner and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson for Weight Watchers. This was a great move for the company because it attracted many more African-Americans to the Weight Watchers program; and this is a good thing because many African-Americans are overweight and dying of preventable diseases that can be attributed to obesity.

This year, Weight Watchers is trying to reach black men by selecting Charles Barkley as their spokesman. This is also great because of the many healthy risks facing African-American men because of their weight issues. This “marketing strategy” of using black celebrities seems to be working, as more and more black people are trying out Weight Watchers because they think “if someone who looks like me can do it so can I.” And I guess the other companies took note of this “trend” of using black celebrities, as Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig each selected Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey (respectively) to be the spokeswomen for their weight loss programs.

I appreciate these companies reaching out to African-Americans to encourage them to lose weight. But I worry that it’s just a ploy to get them through the door, where they won’t see anyone that looks like them. When I was on Weight Watchers, I went to a few different centers for meetings, and not one of the meeting Leaders or even the ladies working at the front check-in stations were non-white. I can’t speak for Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, but I worry that these companies will lure African-Americans to their program, but that they will fail because they might not get the support they need. When a white woman sees a white meeting Leader who lost the weight and became a marathon runner or something, she feels inspired and hopeful that she can do it, too. When a black woman sees this Leader, she might not feel as inspired. There are cultural differences that matter when it comes to getting the support you need. There are some things that work for white women that don’t work for black women, and vice versa.

To be fair, in order to be a Weight Watchers meeting Leader, you must have successfully completed the program, aka reaching a goal weight within the healthy BMI range and becoming a lifetime member. Perhaps, no black people who became lifetime members wanted to be meeting Leaders? Or, to be even more cynical, maybe not enough (or none at all) black people are reaching their goals and becoming lifetime members?

In a perfect world where people weren’t opportunistic beings that only care about themselves and their bottom lines, I’d like to think that’s the real reason behind these companies’ choosing black spokespersons to promote their programs- to help more black people to get healthy, lose weight, and keep it off. But I fear that at the end of the day, not enough is being done to retain minority members, and even worse, I fear these companies don’t even care.

Get Real

This is something I’ve wanted to blog about for quite some time and it took this Huffington Post article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/natural-hair-becoming-mor_n_1165573.html) to finally push me over the edge. I’m sick of black women who are “going natural” thinking they’re better than black women that aren’t! Everywhere I turn, someone on Facebook is posting about their natural hair this or I’m going natural that. More power to them. I jumped on the bandwagon a few years ago just to see what all the hype was and decided it’s not for me, and copped me a perm faster than I could say lanthionization!

The article doesn’t say that “natural” women think they’re better than non-natural women, but I would love a little less attitude from the black women that choose to go natural. It does not make you “blacker” than me. It does not mean you are more in touch with your roots (no pun intended) than I am. It simply means you’re choosing to wear your hair differently than I am; and at the risk of starting a shit storm, it means you’re following the latest fad of the moment.

For centuries, black women have been made to feel like they are less attractive than their White, Asian, Indian, or Hispanic counterparts because their hair is nappy and doesn’t blow in the wind like that of other nationalities. Some black women have even made it their mission to procreate with non-black men for the purpose of ensuring that their children will have “good hair,” or non-black hair. As a result of this “inferiority complex,” black women have straightened their hair, and worn wigs and weaves for decades.

And even with this new hair, black women were still made to feel less beautiful because of their skin color, or some other physical trait, but that’s a whole other blog post for another day. Back in the day, black women who wore weaves wouldn’t dare let people know their hair wasn’t “real.” Black women whose real hair was long and straight got cool points, or were considered to be exotic, but some of them still dealt with having to prove that their real hair was real. And they were still less attractive than non-black women, but more so than black girls who wore weaves. Black women with weaves would go through great lengths to hide their real hair, trying their hardest to pass off their weaves as their own.

And now there’s this “movement” where black women are “going natural.” Why? Because it’s better for their hair? Wrong! Contrary to what many believe, black hair in its natural state is actually more fragile and prone to breakage than if it’s straightened because it’s harder to manage. Is it because they want to embrace who they are? Maybe. But, if that’s the case why now and not from jump? Because all the cool (black celebrities) kids are doing it? Whatever the reasons may be, I don’t think part of the movement should be to look down on those of us who choose to wear weaves or get perms. That just contributes to the notion that black women don’t like or support each other, but again, that’s another blog post for another day.

So what gives? Is it because more and more black women are realizing that their hair is beautiful? Something they never should have had to realize in the first place? Something they should have already known as sure as they know their name? Possibly.

I don’t hear any media buzz surrounding white women who get perms to make their hair curly, or dye their hair different colors depending on the moon or season. And I certainly don’t remember reading any newspaper articles discussing how white women wear weaves, too. Hell, women like Jessica Simpson make money off of it, creating a line of hair “extensions” for white women.

Of course, people are going to capitalize on this “growing trend-“ it’s only natural (again, no pun intended). We’ve got people blogging about how to take care of natural hair, we’ve got people making web videos on how to style natural hair, and we’ve got companies rolling out products made “specifically” for natural hair, all part of a marketing ploy to make money off of women in search of the Holy Grail of natural hair care. I remember reading a study in college that said that after testing many different brands of products, between lotions and shampoos the contents of the bottles were the same despite being placed in different bottles with different marketing; so a shampoo made for one type of hair could be the same as the one in the bottle marketed for another type of hair. Similar to how most generic products are nearly identical to their brand name counterparts, give or take a different scent.

And, I’m sorry, but I hate the phrase “natural hair” because at the end of the day it’s just hair! We all have the same hair; it’s just a different texture.

Why is this “movement: getting so much buzz? What next, will women who wear long acrylic nails be attacked by women like me who choose to wear their real nails short and manicured? Will there be a movement of women with breast implants removing the silicone and rockin’ what God gave them? This is just another example of women being scrutinized, and what’s sad is that it’s being done by other women!

Nowadays, black women like Tyra Banks or Sherri Shepherd don’t care if you know their hair’s a weave or a wig because they’re embracing who they are- women wearing an accessory that just so happens to be their hair. I wish more women would realize that. Whether your hair is black or blonde, straight or curly, long or short, or even if you’re bald- you should know that you are beautiful, period; and you certainly shouldn’t look down on those who choose to wear their hair differently. Everyone is beautiful in her own way. If you don’t realize that, no hairstyle is going to work for you. As India.Arie said- you are not your hair.

Back to School

It’s one of my favorite times of year- the time when kids start going back to school. Schools send home supplies lists telling parents that they need to buy certain notebooks, pens, pencils, crayons, and that ever mandatory box of Kleenex tissues. Parents want to buy the bare minimum generic products, but kids want to buy the bright, new shiny things covered with Hello Kitty or Scooby Doo (when I was a kid, I was madly in love with Lisa Frank stationery like that above- I was even a member of the fan club lol).

And the kids going off to college are just as excited, especially if they’ll be freshmen. They, too are scouring the stores for school supplies, those Godawful extra-long twin bedspreads, and don’t even get me started on those ridiculously expensive textbooks. Had I known then what I know now I would have NEVER bought a textbook. I would have rented them. I didn’t buy any textbooks in grad school, I simply rented them on chegg.com.

And then there are the “kids” like me that are going to law school this fall. The 1Ls are all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, uber excited about the journey that lies ahead. Then there are 2Ls like me who know better. My 1L year was HARD and borderline traumatizing! I NEVER want to go through that again! And still, I have to admit- I’m just as excited as the 1Ls. I actually can’t wait until school starts tomorrow. I’ll be the president of a student organization, and I’ll be participating in one of my school’s clinics where I’ll get hands-on experience helping clients with their legal issues, as opposed to simply reading about them. I’m even slightly excited about Constitutional Law- even though the class really is as boring as it sounds, and the textbook weighs 7 pounds (and unfortunately, I can’t went my textbooks for law school- they’re hard to come by, and I need to be able to highlight & write in my textbooks, something you can’t do if you rent).

I’m mostly excited about the new school year because it’s a fresh start, and I bet that’s why most students get so excited about the new school year. If you did bad last year, you can put that behind you and do better this year. Or maybe you’re switching from a school where nobody liked you or you had a certain reputation. The new school year at a new school allows you to be a brand new you.

Whatever keeps you excited about the new school year, try to hold on to it. I once read somewhere that students tend to do better at the beginning of the school year or semester than they do later in the year or semester. So try to hold on to that “i’m excited about starting school” feeling so as to excel all year round. Bribe yourself with a shiny new pen or something, if it helps.

My Law School Survival Tips (results may vary)

For most of us, law school starts in about five weeks. And for those of us that decided to torture ourselves by taking summer courses, we get about a week off before the true madness begins. And for those of you who will be entering into your first year of law school, you should be cherishing what freedom you have now because free time will be hard to come by once the marathon that is law school begins. A year ago today, I was one of those “poor unfortunate souls” working at a financial company counting the weeks, days, hours, and minutes of when I could quit my Godawful job and begin law school, finally pursuing what I really want to do in life. I didn’t really know what to expect of law school, and so I soaked in any and everything I was told. My first year was definitely one of those “had I known then what I know now” situations, so here’s a list of things I wish I’d been told last August:

1. Don’t be freaked out by the “look to your left, look to your right” hoopla

I don’t remember any of my professors saying this to us, but many students’ professors will go through the whole “look to your left, look to your right- one of you won’t be here next year” scenario. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything, it’s just professors’ way of trying to freak you out and ensure you’re serious about this journey on which you’re about to embark. But as you go through law school, you’ll find that some people will drop out. Maybe you’ll drop out. Law school really isn’t for everyone. If not for the fact that I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since I was 12 and that I truly believe it’s my calling, the hell I went through during my first semester alone was enough to make me want to drop out. There will be days when you wonder what you’re doing in law school. There will be days when you feel like the dumbest person alive. There will be days where you are going to cry in law school. And that is okay. If this is something you truly want, then keep reminding yourself about why you decided to go to law school, and you won’t be freaked out by the “look to left” stuff. If you’re in law school to be rich, just STOP. Do not pass go. Do not collect the $100,000+ in debt you will incur. No amount of money is worth the torture you will endure in law school. Trust me. If you’re doing this for the wrong reasons, you will be one of those people on the left or right that don’t return, and you will have wasted at least $50k in doing so.

2. Understand That There Are NO Shortcuts in Law School

Accept this as true, and your life as a law student will be a breeze. But, for those of you who think you’re so smart that you can sleep through law school, consider yourself warned, and remember that I told you so. I’ve always been one of those students that people hate- the ones that get A’s on papers written an hour before they’re due, the ones who never study yet ace all their exams. So to some extent, I figured I could do the same thing in law school. The D+ I got on my first midterm was the reality check I needed. Fortunately for me, my professor said he wasn’t going to count our midterm grade, so I was able to turn things around in time to eventually get a much higher final grade. But you must understand that law school is a LOT of work! I’m talking hours of reading cases, which, in addition to sometimes being boring, are seemingly in another language, as you’ll be introduced to a whole bunch of new words you didn’t even know existed in the English language. In addition to reading these cases (which you may have to read twice or thrice to fully understand them), you’ll need to summarize them so that when you’re randomly called in class to discuss a case, you’re prepared. And let’s not forget the studying involved. If you think you can get away with skimming a case, or worse, using the summarized case briefs available on some websites you’ll be doing more harm than good. And God help you if you get caught using a “canned brief” in a class in which the professor hates them. You’re better off just doing the work in the first place. That’s how you’ll learn.

3. Get a Black’s Law Dictionary

Whether you download the app on the iPhone or iPad, or carry around the unabridged paperback version, it’ll cost you about $55, but it’s definitely worth it. As I previously mentioned, you will encounter words that you have never before seen. Do not just gloss over them- look them up as you read a case. Sure, it may take you 2 hours to read a case, but you’ll be expanding your vocabulary. And if you have any professors like mine, you may even be given a vocabulary test on some “standard” legal terms.

4. Do NOT go on Facebook and Twitter in Class

This should be a no-brainer, but you’ll be surprised how many people actually Tweet from class. In fact, I’m guilty of not following my own advice, and I find it no coincidence that my two lowest grades are in classes in which I’d sometimes go on Facebook and Twitter in class, so this warning comes from experience. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to miss something important because you were tweeting or updating your status. You’re paying all this money to get the education, make sure you get the most out of it.

5. Do What Works For You and Worry About Yourself

When I started law school, I listened to all of the upper classmen telling me to study using an outline, or use a computer to take notes. So I did, until I realized that what works for me is what always worked for me- taking hand written notes and using flashcards- the old fashioned way. Outlines help you organize the stuff you’ll learn, but if you know that note cards work for you, do that. Don’t waste your time trying to reinvent the wheel and trying to shove a round peg into a square whole. So what if your classmates take notes on a mac and you jot em down in a spiral notebook. Do what works for you. And don’t be fooled by the maniac who spends 23hrs a day in the library. I once thought this girl who lived in the library was the smartest girl in class, until I found out I got higher grades than her. Quality over quantity still rules. I can study while getting my Elle Woods on on the stairmaster at the gym just as well as someone who camps out in the library reading a case. Everyone’s study styles are different, and that is okay.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Extra Help

Most students will buy study guides and hornbooks (supplements) to help them better understand a subject. And some will even seek the help of a tutor. There’s nothing wrong with having a tutor or seeking extra help from your professor. They’re there to help you succeed. Remember I said that when you encounter the dreaded fee simple subject to a springing use executory interest, and its annoying cousins, or the parol evidence rule.

7. Have Fun!

Seriously. Too much of anything is bad for you. Law school is serious work. But you will reach a point where you will want to jump off a building if you have to read one more case; or, in the case of the girl who spends 23hrs in the library, you will have a nervous breakdown the day before finals start. It’s important to have balance, to step away from the casebooks once in a while. Maybe it’s hitting the gym for an hour of me time a day, or shooting some pool with your friends on Friday nights. Whatever it is you like to do, make time for it. Your sanity will depend on it.

Summer Reading

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a book worm. I love to read! Sadly, since starting law school I barely have enough time to read all the assigned cases, never mind finding time for leisurely reading. Also, I’m very old fashioned. I prefer the vintage feel of a book rather than reading on a device like the iPad or a Kindle. I love the old smell and feel of a book. Don’t laugh, but when I was in elementary school sometimes I’d spend my recess in the library reading books. Remember the library from Beauty and the Beast? To have that would be a dream come true (yes, I’m aware that I am a dork).

Most kids look forward to summer vacation because it’s a break from school. I looked forward to summer vacation because I couldn’t wait to see what my summer reading list would be. And I didn’t wait until August to read my book and write the book report, I started right away. And I never borrowed the books from the library, I had my mom buy them so as to add to my collection.

It saddens me that some kids no longer have summer reading, or if they do it’s optional. When I was in elementary and high school it was mandatory. Nowadays, kids would rather play games on their phones or video games systems. They’re not reaching for a book. But sometimes it’s great to take a break from technology, so I’m challenging you to read at least one of these classic novels that you probably read when you were a kid (and will probably understand more now that you’re older), or if you didn’t, you get to enjoy a good book while lounging on a hammock or at the beach. And your kids can join in on the fun, too. Check these out:

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Haper Lee

This is my all time favorite book! This classic novel tells the tale of a young girl named Scout who is growing up in a rural town in Alabama during the Great Depression. The novel deals with issues such as racial and social injustice, stereotypes, and teaches many great lessons about life in general. This novel also deals with a trial in which Scout’s lawyer father, Atticus Finch, defends a black man accused of raping a white woman. I’d definitely recommend this book to those of you starting law school, perhaps to remind you of why you want to be a lawyer, as well as to non-lawyers to remind you that not all lawyers are evil.

2. Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat

This novel tells the story of a young Haitian girl named Sophie Caco who lived with her grandparents in Haiti and at the age of twelve is sent to the United States to live with her mother, a woman she barely knows. The novel deals with issues such as finding yourself in a new country, and rebuilding relationships after they have fallen apart.

3. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Most people had to read Shakespeare in high school, and it probably felt like pulling teeth. However, for dorks like me, it was heaven! While most people got the abridged version (as this is believed to be Shakespeare’s longest play) or watched the movie, I read the whole thing and loved it! Hamlet tells the tale of a young man who is mourning the death of his father and as a result he engages in crazy, erratic behavior. It ends like most Shakespeare tragedies end, but this play is definitely powerful. While I believe that reading the book is always better than watching the movie, if you must watch the movie, I recommend watching Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet. You can follow the play line by line in his rendition, whereas most other film versions are condensed.

4. Animal Farm by George Orwell

When I first read this in 9th grade I thought this was simple a book about animals that didn’t get along. But then I realized the deeper concepts within this story about corruption, greed, social injustice, and leaders abusing their powers.

5. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

While my favorite Charles Dickens work is a Christmas Carol, a Tale of Two Cities is another good read. This lengthy read is set in London and Paris around the time of the French Revolution and it deals with familiar issues of class, wealth, poverty, social injustice, and love. I particularly liked that this novel was originally published in weekly installments in the newspaper. And, the book’s opening line “it was the best of times , it was the worst of times” is definitely something we can relate to today.

For the Kiddies and Young Adults

6. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

I just told my boyfriend that if I were to watch this movie again I’d probably still cry (yet another dork moment). This story is about a girl Fern who convinces her father not to kill a baby pig because he’s a runt. She keeps him as a pet and names him Wilbur. The story goes on to follow their growing friendship and his life on the farm with other animals, such as a rat, a goose, and of course a spider, named Charlotte. This classic teaches kids about humility, kindness, and love (some values that seem to be lacking in today’s youth).

7. Any of the Baby-Sitter’s Club Books by Ann M. Martin

I heard a rumor that these were on the banned book list and I was shocked! I loved this series when I was a kid. I even read the Little Sister series. I owned almost every title, which I eventually donated to my elementary school’s library once I’d outgrown them. This series tells the stories of different teenage girls who baby sit neighborhood kids, and the adventures they experience.

8. Goosebumps by R.L. Stine

I’m not gonna lie, some of these books scared me when I was growing up. But for the most part they weren’t that bad. As far as I remember, there weren’t any gruesome deaths or anything gory. They were simply stories to send a chill up your spine, or to give you goosebumps. Some stories involved haunted houses, or scar scarecrows. If I could handle reading them, any kid can.

9. Night by Elie Wiesel

I read many stories about the Holocaust, but this one was the most memorable. It tells the story about Wiesel’s experiences in Nazi German concentration camps in a way that makes you have a greater love and appreciation for the life you live today.

10. Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary

I also heard a rumor that Beverly Cleary books were on the banned book list, but in my opinion they shouldn’t be. Cleary wrote a few books about Ramona, a typical curious third grader, but this one focused on Ramona’s starting the third grade and trying to become a little bit more independent, and other situations in which little kids find themselves. It’s definitely a cute read

Bonus read: The Berenstain Bears by Stan and Jan Berenstain

These books for kids teach lessons about life, such as the dangers in talking to strangers, eating too much junk food, and even watching too much television. I’ve seen these books popping up more and more at Walmart, so I plan to buy some for my Goddaughter.

I hope you take the opportunity to enjoy at least one of these great classics. You will not be disappointed And if there’s a classic you read as a kid, please feel free to share

I Need a Vacation!

2011 has been the WORST and busiest year of my twenty something life! I completed my first year of law school in May, however, my life has essentially been one big blur since March, so when I go away on vacation tomorrow it’s very much needed.

Us overachiever types dislike taking time off. We feel we’ll miss out on something, or even worse, we’ll fall behind on all the work we have to do. The past few weeks have been CRAZY for me- I had a take home midterm (which, in law school is NOT necessarily a good thing, as mine was about 80 HANDWRITTEN pages), a presentation for class, and a 10 page paper due tomorrow that I just submitted. Not to mention research for a 20 page paper due in about a month, as well as studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam (MPRE) that I have to take on August 5th. I’ve found that I’m busier taking 2 summer courses than I am taking 5!

I love to be busy, but it does tend to cause stress, which causes me to drink 1-2 cans of soda every other day. Not good. But now that I have NO immediate assignments to complete, I plan to enjoy myself for the next few days. This year, I’ve learned a lot about balance. It’s not good to procrastinate all the time, but it’s not good to be all work and no play either, and that’s how it’s been for me since March. Today is the last day of the first half of the year, and these past six months I’ve worked waaaay too hard with not much to show for it. During the next few months, I obviously still plan to work hard, but I plan to work smarter by being more balanced. I’m going to try really hard not to feel guilty if I take an hour a day to hit the gym, or if I veg out on the couch on a Friday to catch up on the one million shows that are saved on my DVR (especially since I won’t have any classes on Fridays in the Fall, a rare occurrence for law students apparently).

For the rest of the year, I’m going to focus on achieving a perfect balance, and I challenge you to do the same. A perfect balance for me might mean school work Sunday through Thursday and allowing Friday and Saturday for some fun stuff with my boyfriend. Or it might mean being able to watch Jeopardy every night. And it’ll be different for you, too. The point is that we all need to relax and take some time off once in a while. Your brain and your body will thank you for it.

The Good Wife

Every woman wants to believe that her man is one of the good guys- the ones who are loving, honest, and faithful. And men will be the first to say “I’m not like all the other guys.” But is this just delusional thinking?

If soap operas, television shows like the Good Wife, and even Arnold Swarzenegger’s scandal are any indication, cheating should be as accepted as diet coke!

It seems like men just can’t help themselves. Women try so hard to satisfy their men. We cook, we clean, we sleep with you, we support you in as many ways as we can. And that’s still not good enough.

I know that not every man cheats on his woman, but one bad apple is enough to spoil the whole bunch. Every single person I’ve ever dated has cheated on me, both physically and emotionally, so I sometimes find it hard to be optimistic that I’ll never be cheated on again. But given the seemingly true nature of men, is that kind of “optimistic” thinking really just stupid?

And it’s bad enough that most men cheat on their women to begin with, but they cheat with women who are “less than” their girlfriend or wife in terms of social status. On The Good Wife, Peter cheated on his wife (an attorney) with a prostitute. Arnold Swarzenegger cheated on his wife with their nanny. Why don’t men cheat with more powerful/prominent women? Is it because their odds of getting caught would be increased? Or is it because an ordinary working girl is less intimidating than the powerful, intelligent women they’re with?

And why do we always hear about these prominent men cheating on their wives? Rarely do we hear stories about womem cheating on their husbands. Is it because women’s moral compass always points north, or could it be something else?

And what makes the women stay? Is it because they’re afraid no one else will want them? Is it because they’ve just come to accept that men will be men and cheat so they might as well stay where they are?

To be fair, not all men wake up in the morning and say “gee, I think I’ll cheat on my girlfriend/wife today.” Some men are seduced by women. Sometimes the woman knows this man is taken and they continue to seduce the guy anyway (I believe some people call these women whores). And sometimes the woman genuinely doesn’t know the man is taken- after all, men can lie and wedding rings can come off. While this is one reason why I do not like or trust women (which is a blog topic for another day), at the end of the day it’s still up to the man to say no to temptation. And I know that blaming the women for their succumbing to temptation is a hard habit for men to break, as they’ve been doing it since the beginning of time (do Adam and Eve ring a bell?), but it’s about time men own up to their indiscretions and take responsibility for their actions and finally admit what women have been forced to accept as their new reality: “you are like all the other guys.”

Next Time Around

It seems like only yesterday I started my first day of law school. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I admit, after I saw Legally Blonde, a teeny tiny part of me hoped that law school would be somewhat similar to Elle Woods’s experience at Harvard. After all, we both liked pink, and we both liked manicures. But once I got my first reading assignment for Criminal Procedure I realized law school would be so much harder and less interesting than the murder trial in the movie.

I entered law school with all kinds of delusions, such as getting straight A’s like I always did, and maintaining the same work- life balance I had while working full time and attending graduate school. But all the upperclassmen and professors kept telling us how hard law school would be and to get used to not seeing our friends and family for three years. Being the overachieving straight A student I always was, I thought “nope, I’ll be able to balance everything and still have time to watch Jeopardy every night.”

But I let their advice get to me and I took it to the extreme. I cut everything out cold turkey. I went from working out everyday to forgetting where my gym was. I went from watching Jeopardy every night to barely having time to catch the weather report in the morning. Slowly but surely, I started to distance myself from everything because I started to believe that the only way I could succeed was if I took on their advice. And I ate it up like candy. I even changed my study habits to what they suggested because I figured they knew best.

Turns out they didn’t. Giving everything up cold turkey didn’t make me smarter or more efficient, and it certainly didn’t get me straight As. Instead, it left me fatter, more stressed, and single, as neglecting my boyfriend led to our breakup.

As I’m finishing up my first year of law school I can’t help but think about the girl I was last August, and the girl I am now. And I’m kind of disappointed in myself. I let other people’s stresses and issues affect me and as a result I doubted myself. I convinced myself that my way of doing things- which had yielded me straight A’s for so long- was not good enough for law school. I wasted so much time adopting new study habits, experimenting with outlines, studying supplements, only to come back to my reliable (albeit old-school) method of making flashcards to study.

I know the upperclassmen and professors meant well, but their advice did not work for me. And I suppose that’s part of life- trying to figure out what works for us. People are always going to have opinions and suggestions. But it’s up to you to figure out what’s right for you and what’s not.

My boyfriend and I did that in the few short months we spent apart. And I’ve had months to figure out what does and doesn’t help me when it comes to law school. Once I master the diet and exercise arena I’ll be good to go. But at least now I have an idea of what to do the next time around. And who knows, maybe the rest of my law school experience will be a little like Elle Woods’s. And if not, it’ll still be mine.